Episode 20 - How I Conquer Burnout

Feeling tired, overwhelmed, and stressed all the time? Do you doubt yourself, feel helpless and struggle to get things ticked off your ‘to do’ list?

If so, you could be suffering from an increasingly common phenomenon known as ‘burnout’. 

It’s caused by chronic stress and is often triggered by a combination of too much stress at work, family responsibilities, financial issues, bereavement, toxic relationships and much more besides. 

Many of us end up burnout without ever realising that is what we are experiencing. We are so busy charging around getting stuff done that we never even notice the toll that it’s taking on our bodies and minds. 

What we need is the space to recharge and rethink our approach to life. To take care of our bodies and minds, protect our health, and allow ourselves to make our dreams come through. 

Opening up the conversation about burnout is a vital part of avoiding it. This is why, in this episode, we will be sitting down and talking about how it happens, the role that imposter syndrome plays, how to handle burnout and how to avoid it in the first place. 

Just like Eleshia, you’ll learn why spending quality time with yourself is beneficial, how sleep makes a difference to your body, how to end toxic relationships, and how taking care of your wellbeing can affect your overall quality of life.

Join us for this episode and learn how to think, act and move from a place of love, hit that pause button so you can reflect and listen to what’s within and harness your creative mindset. This is how you can live the best life that you want!

Don't forget to also check out Michelle Rohr's episode - Part 1 & Part 2, as she shares her journey on how she sparked the changes to her mindset and behavior so she could step up and make an impact in the world.

Eleshia’s Essentials:

• You have to invest and look after yourself. 
• We take those messages from social media and take them into our day which sometimes takes our energy that can map out our whole day.
• Make sure that you are moving to help with your mental, physical, and emotional health.
• It’s good to move from an exercise perspective, but it's also important to move from a mindset perspective.
• Movement is one of the fastest ways to change your mood.
• Let go of toxic people and toxic relationships that are draining you and not helping you be the best versions of yourself. 

Connect with Eleshia:

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About the show:

The Eleshia Show is an exciting new podcast that helps empower female business owners to put their well-being first whilst building their businesses. Tune in every Wednesday as my inspiring guests and I discuss strategies, share stories and experiences and dive into how you can build your business whilst trying to navigate real life. The host, Eleshia Harris is here and ready to share her decades of project management and wellness experience to help you start saying ‘Yes!’ to your business and life.

Show Transcript:

I'm sure we've all been there where we have been burning the candles at both ends. And then the next thing you know, you can't even get out of bed. You can't even lift your head out of bed.

Eleshia Harris: Hi, I'm Eleshia Harris and I am your host of The Eleshia Show. I am also the founder of eleshialifestyle.com, and I'm so excited that you're here with me and I am here with you. I'm also really appreciative. Each week, I'll be sharing strategies and stories, and insights to help you enhance your wellbeing and to build your business while still navigating life. Because sometimes we often try and separate the two and let's face it, if you are not well, you have no business. So let's try and work with these two things combined because we can enhance your lifestyle. Again, I'm really excited to have you here. I have wanted to put together a podcast for over two years, and so here I am ready to share. Let's get into this week's episode.

Hi, and I'm back for another solo. This week, I want to talk about a few things. I want to talk about burnout, I want to talk about imposter syndrome and I just want to talk about just how we can get back to feeling a little bit like ourselves.

It's rough out here right now. Let's just be honest. Things are not easy, and I just want to give you some things to think about that you probably already know. But I just want to give you a reminder like let's get this, put back into your diaries of just having some space to recharge and to rethink about you.

I know I talk about this a lot and it's because you have to invest in yourself. You, 100%, have to look after yourself because I'm sure we've all been there where we have been burning the candles at both ends. And then the next thing you know, you can't even get out of bed. You can't even lift your head out of bed. You just want to stay underneath the duvets and just let the days go past. And yes, I recommend if you can to get as much rest as you can, get those naps in when you can. But we can't all live like that, especially if you're trying to look after yourself, you're trying to run your business, you're looking after small people. You may be looking after your parents. You have a lot of responsibilities. I even want to say it's really important. It is a necessity that you take into consideration what you need. 

Let's tackle burnout fast because it's real. I know because I can always feel when I may be approaching that place where I know that I've been doing far too much, and I may have been ignoring the warning signs. I've discussed it previously in the indifferent episodes, and now I'm trying to live my life as best as I can to ensure that I look after myself first. Because for so long, I have made sure that everybody else is okay. So in this season, you know how I love to say that. In this season of my life where I am perimenopausal, I need to make sure that I do. And again, yes, I harp on about this a lot but that's because it is really important and I want you to take this information and implement it because we need to still thrive, people. We really do. We need to make sure that we are showing up for ourselves, for our businesses, for our families, for our legacies, for our ancestors. I never really used that term that often, and then I really thought about it and I really thought about my mom. I really thought about the fact that she is not here to be my cheerleader in person, but she is still cheering me on. And I need to make sure that I am quiet enough to hear her. 

When I do get quiet and I hear her, I remember some of the things that she used to say to me, to lift my spirit, to help me move forward, and then I start to implement those practices again. I'm on fire, so all of the magic is within, as Michelle said. I love to say, it's all within us and we have to take those quiet moments to really listen. That's one of the reasons why I have really benefited from being still and quiet in the last 18 months. I have really, really done a lot of work on listening to myself, listening to my needs, and just nourishing my needs. Just enjoying spending time practicing my health and well-being. Showing up for me and standing in my own power and doing the things that I really want to do to move me forward. Yes, this has been grateful from a business perspective, but I am my business and I know that. So for me, making sure that I am standing strong and I am grounded, and I am doing what is necessary for me to continue to be that way and to honor that. That, for me, is everything. 

I've previously said that sometimes I find it really hard to switch off and go to bed at a reasonable time because sometimes when I'm really getting into what I need to get done because I work condensed hours, it feels like: Oh just one more hour, one more hour. And then sometimes that becomes two more hours, and then I end up going to bed at 11 o'clock at midnight. But my brain is still switched on but my head's on the pillow and it wants to go to sleep, but my brain is still saying, no, no, no, no, no. I've still got all of these great ideas. 

So recently, I've been really concentrating. I am really making it a habit to switch off my laptop at 9 o'clock and just not looking at any screens from 9 o'clock onwards, and it's been a dream. It's literally been a dream. I have been going to bed at 10-half-10, the latest, and really getting good quality sleep and it just feels so good. We don't have any devices in the bedroom. We don't have a TV in the bedroom or anything like that, so that makes it really super easy not to get distracted. My bedroom is about sleeping.

Another thing that I want to suggest because I also find that when it's warm, or even sometimes when it's cold and you've got the heater on, your bedroom can get really congested. So we have a humidifier in there as well, just to circulate the air and just to make it a little bit more breathable, and that really helps me sleep as well. Sleep has been really big for me, over the last six weeks, just really, really working on my sleep health and that made a major difference. It just makes me feel energized when I wake up and I'm not tired, and I'm excited to get on with my day, it makes all the difference.

I've also been trying to carve out some solo time as well. Just making sure that I get some time to myself to read a book. I love audibles. I really love self-development, so I listen to a lot of books. But sometimes I just need to have a book where I can see the words on a page and turn the pages. For me, that is quality time. And yes, I like to have time. I'm really learning just to still my brain with a book, so it's been really handy stopping work at 9:00 PM because it means that I've now got time to read all of those books that I have on rotation. I think I've got about four books that I'm reading at the moment because  I don't know if it's just me, and please let me know if it is because then I'm a weirdo. But I like to read different books on different days, and depending on my mood and listen to different audibles so I've got four books on the go and I've got probably three audibles on the go as well. It just depends on what I need for that day, so I dip in and out of each of them until I've actually finished. I've got one book that I've been reading for six months and I just go in. It's like a reference book, right? Yes. So they're all like references for me, but that's how I love to learn.

Giving yourself that solo time is really good from just a physical and emotional and mental perspective. It's odd being switched on all of the time, and you do need to hit that pause button at times just to reflect and just to ensure that you still get in that quiet time to actually listen within. That's when you can start to listen to your intuition and when you get your best ideas. When you actually give yourself time to actually stop and be in that creative mindset as well. 

I've recently started doing morning journaling again, and my goodness, that is everything. And for me, it's just like a brain dump. I just literally dump on paper because there's nothing like writing to get it out of your head and just onto paper. It doesn't always make sense so I just write. I just write to just do a complete brain dump of what's going on in my head so that I can then just move on about my day. Sometimes it includes to-do's, sometimes I'm ranting, I just get it down on paper so it's not in my brain and it doesn't go into my whole day, and I find that really, really beneficial. 

And then detox from social media and yes, I know we need to use it for our businesses. But from that imposter syndrome place where you could be feeling like you're not doing enough or you're playing the whole comparison game which I see a lot of that happening. It's time to sometimes dial it back and just actually really, really think about why you're on these platforms? Yes, it is about being social, but is it about being social to the detriment of your health? Ask yourself that question. What are you getting out of it?  And if you feel that you're not getting anything out of it and you're not feeling great, then maybe it's time to start muting some people or actually start doing a little bit of a detox of the people that you're following. Because you shouldn't be made to feel worse because of what you're seeing on your feet.  

So I highly recommend, and I have started to implement it over the weekends that I try to be on social media at a bare minimum. I also have a reminder on my phone, so It lets me know when I've been on there for an hour, and most of that is scrolling. So yes, we can say, but I need it for my business. But if you're just scrolling, what are you doing? Are you doing research for your business or are you just being social for your business? You need to start asking yourself some of these questions because it's important because we take those messages from social media. We usually take them into our day and sometimes we take it into our energy and that can then just really map out our whole day. For instance, that happened to me today. I saw something on social media today and it nearly stopped me from doing this podcast because it completely triggered me. And I had to talk to myself, I had to say no, this is important work. This is important to you, Eleshia. You're helping others, you want to help others. That's your mission. So get out of that headspace, put your phone down, put your phone on Do Not Disturb, and get what you need to get done with love. Always with love.

Laugh. Laughing, laughing, laughing, I remember when my mom was going through her cancer treatment, I made it my duty to make sure that we watch comedies all the time. Even now I'm smiling because I still laugh about Bridesmaids. That was one of our favorite films. When was the last time you watched a comedy or you caught up with a friend that made you absolutely belly-laugh, or you and your partner watched something funny together, or you made each other laugh.

When was the last time you did that? This is all going to help with just that internal feeling of happiness, and that's what we need. There's a lot going on in the world where it's all quite negative, so it's really important for you to, I like to say, to just create a bubble sometimes of not letting what's going on in the world affect you just for a day or so. Just really enjoy the happy moments of your life and just really hone into feeding that joy and remembering what brings you joy and remember what brought you joy and doing more of that.

I'm always going to talk about food, so making sure that you're nourishing yourself and that's really hard when you're in this state of when you're feeling like you're burned out. Because you don't have any energy to make homemade nutritious vitamin-packed amazing food. You have to think about ways to incorporate nourishing food coming in, so think about that. I don't know about you but when I feel burned out, when I feel nervous, when I feel angry, when I feel sad, the first thing that goes out the window is usually sleep and food. I even don't eat or I choose the wrong types of foods, so I'm always going to say this but if you can make sure that you're nourishing yourself even if you're feeling like you don't have the energy to make the food. If you can start to think about food services that you can use or just healthier take-out. I don't really want to say takeouts, but from the perspective of making sure that you're getting food in, that's really important too. But just trying to make healthier food choices. Or even just thinking about putting food in the freezer, we've said it before just to prep. When you know that you're going to be busy and you may be on a really stressful deadline, you've got food that you can just pull out. That's really, really, really going to help you.

Ask for help. Yes, I know. I find it really difficult, in fact, I don't like to ask for help as much as I should, but I am learning. I am learning to delegate, and it's pretty awesome. It's pretty good to do that, especially those things that you know that are not your thing. You can't do them as well as somebody else can. So for example, I'm not great at website design or updating my website so I have Darren who loves to do that and he's brilliant at it. That is something that I delegate when it comes to home life. Jordan helps around the house, he's very good at that. He has been trained well and he cleans bathrooms, he hoovers, he washes dishes. He does what needs to be done, so we take that in turns, but that takes a lot of the stress off me. We're all capable of cooking so we all take turns in cooking. 

Yes, some of us pretend that we can't. I'm not going to say any names, but some of us say that we're not great cooks but we are, so we take turns. We take turns in doing the household chores because it is not beneath any of us. And if you can't do that, then maybe think about employing somebody who can help. 

Move your body, move your body, move your body, move your body, move your body, and it's not just from an exercise perspective. It is from a mind and body and so perspective as well, and just making sure that you are moving to help with your mental health, your physical health, and your emotional health. Yes, it is important to move from an exercise perspective, but it's also important to move from a mindset perspective. Yes, I know that everything is opening up and everything is opened up, but we still spend a lot of time sitting, and so it's really important to move as much as you can. I make sure that three times a week that I get in my Pilates practice and then two times a week, I walk and that is really helpful for me. 

That is so important. It is so, so important. Just trying to make sure that I'm caring for myself, it's so important that I'm looking after my health especially in times like this, and I cannot emphasize it enough. I know I go over this a lot, but it is so, so important. So what do I do for movement? What do I do from a Pilates perspective? Movement is one of the fastest ways to change your mood. I said it to a friend today, I'm going to put on my favorite song and I'm going to dance off my mood, and it's true, you get all of those feel-good hormones circulating in your whole body and you are good to go. 

You are good to go, so as I said before, burnout is a thing. We don't want you there. We do not want you there. And this is the whole reason why my brand is about making sure your health is at the forefront of your business because, without it, you have no business. But we are going to talk about more business, don't you worry. I just wanted to really set the foundations because that's one of the things that I say to my clients a lot. If you don't have your foundations right in your business, in your health and wellbeing, then it's really hard to then scale. 

I hope that makes sense, and I hope you can see why I have been so invested in really just giving you information from my perspective with the guests that I know. And I really hope you understand why I have spent so many episodes talking about how we can be looking after ourselves and why all of my wonderful guests have been guests because they have expertise in the health and well-being space. It's just really important for me to share information that I've had access to help somebody else who may not have heard it or may have heard it differently, and now really get, from the way we've articulated it on the show. So let me know, but we are not here to be all singing or dancing Mary Poppins, Superwomen or Supermen. We need to make sure that we are here for as long as we can be, and that means that we have to look after ourselves.

Another thing that I didn't talk about is to look at the toxins in your life. Just talking about the toxins around you, but that may be toxic relationships. And think about ways that you may need to take yourself out of those situations because if you have friends or family members that are draining you and not helping you be the best versions of yourself, it may be time to let those relationships go.

And again, I say that with love. I've been there and it's not easy, but I want to build relationships around me that are genuine and authentic. I want to make sure that I am being the best person and the best friend that I can be to that person, but equally, I'm getting that back. And if it feels like I'm not, then maybe it's time to reassess our relationship.

So I hope all of this information has been useful, and I will see you again next week and we will get into some business strategies. Take care.

Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of The Eleshia Show. If you know somebody who needs to hear the conversations that we are having, please share it, take a screenshot and send it to them. Also, I would really love for you to rate and review the podcast as this really helps, and I'd love to read your comments. Lastly, remember, you need to invest in yourself first because you are important and amazing. Take care until the next time. Bye-bye.